December 25, 2009

Chasing shadows

November 27, 2009

Re-reading Bunin’s “Dark lanes”, I was wondering this time that Bunin was maybe just mistaken, seeing the Beauty and the Truth in every single infatuation.

Though I used to feel that way myself before. I published, earlier, a little story in which I was writing of a certain point in which the Beauty, the Love (in the meaning of passion), and the God become one, a certain point of Absolute of everything.   And of how this is possible in every infatuation, every shadow of Love…

I do not believe in it now. I came to seeing God as kindness rather than Absolute (I will follow with my little NDE research on this). And do kindness and passion meet? Sometimes yes, but not ALWAYS yes.

I think, if there is a desire to grow or develop, or anyway go our road we’ve chosen, it has maybe some sense to look at each story before labeling it Love and running way from the chosen road EACH time. Be it going away from the plans, being unhappy (going away from ourselves), or leaving another man… I think the personality we have is one, and passions are many… So are (rare) the persons who truly love us – to be hurt by silly stories, so is the Road we have, whatever it is.

I think, there is a sense to look through some distant glasses sometimes at passions felt to not sell our heart cheaply and not turn life into chaotic running after anything and everything.

Just a point of view….

? in a box

November 27, 2009

Well I wondered how feminine it is to put this video (I spend  – yes – SO much time figuring out WHAT is feminine to do and not) but it is charming, the video, isn’t it).

Thank you Kirill Kireev, at whose page this video was discovered).

Men as muses)

November 24, 2009

I think, men’s role as supporting and inspiring is under-estimated).

Isn’t it so that a Muse is, generally a feminine-colored word?…

But since men are considered strong, they must not be that bad in supporting, no?..

“Gone with the wind” would not be able without the support of Margaret Mitchell’s husband (as at least her biography says). Penelope Cruz is constantly guided through life by her friend,  film-maker Pedro Almodovar. Edith Piaf was taken out of street by a person who trusted in her and due to this trust and support, she became what she was.

Nevertheless, muse keeps being, generally, a female-genre word…

However OF COURSE I think women MUST  be muses by their sense… )


This is the first movie that comes to my mind when I think of anything filmed of  nobelty of spirit…

“Doing right” is a thing taught in school and so it looks like obligatory, dusty and boring. And it can have such a different color… It may be noble, beautiful, the color of a noble steel… It may be colored like Pride. Because if Pride helps to improve, it is not more smth “bad”. It brings you somewhere wonderful.

“Right” should be an aesthetical , or an artistic category.  I believe  something should be done in  education, in medias…. “right” actions should be “advertised” by charismatic figures and in an interesting way (maybe somewhere they are, but I judge by my own school education, and I think that (regretfully) for most, their personality is formed in school. It keeps on to be formed later (or after university) only with a conscious effort.

AL Pacino acting in this movie is incredibly great. I never watch it without crying, he reminds me of my grandfather somehow – incredibly charming and certainly incomparable.

So, Al Pacino’s part I think is a wonderful example of how some important things should be shown. His character is not sugary /gray/boring, he is real, he is charismatic AND the type that gets copied…

That is how it should be… Right should not be sugary, in some ideal world, it should be as charming as “wrong” is.

An association

November 21, 2009

Funnily, this picture by Claude Maunet looks so much in the mood like “Death in Venice” by Visconti… Though it is a different place, but the feel is so alike.

An avatar…

November 20, 2009

Hm… Is there a place you put an avatar (a userpic) into this blog?…  I didn’t yet find… 

A song

November 20, 2009

My favourite childhood song). I danced to it in a gypsy skirt).

I still love it. We have some magic connection with first days and years…

I remember  a very touching description of this feeling by Dali… And I do not recall it exactly. I will try to find. Dali is rarely exactly touching in his books (I mean I am talking of his books), but here he caught this expression… I will find.  Something about looking at things through a very touching emotional glass. In “50 secrets of mastery”.

Some things should be kept so dearly, tenderly…


November 20, 2009

As popular as the Buddhism is, I would like to say that I do not agree with the idea of Ego being a bad thing…

I think it makes you want to grow and improve. I mentioned it in my previous post, but I decided to post it even clearer. It is a question that bothers me.

Doesn’t feeling oneself ONLY a part of the world, steal  responsibility and, in a way, free will?

Maybe this all Ego-denying is just another trick for ruling people? Making them a crowd, trying to calm (=shut) down their minds, make them stop figuring out and thinking? I understand that meditation is a wonderful thing, and I DO practice it from time to time, and it DOES make you centered… However complete fanaticism never drives anywhere good.  Why become wishless, mindless, willess? Stopping trying to improve (too Ego-like), become less kind,less interesting, less attractive… Why would Budda need that? …

Something is wrong here.